Crewlang - The Vocab List

The vocab list is skewed to J Crew, of course. Most terms have been created around the word/noun/verb we love, J Crew. Every xx.xx minutes another JCA is born and we must show them the ropes. Other misc, non-J Crew definitions (I.e. bogo) have long been around the Web and are included as well.

B&M – brick & mortar store as opposed to online.

BOGO - buy one get one

Comp Alt - Comparable alternative. I.e. Ann Taylor Loft's (ATL) button down cardigan is a comp alt to J Crew's Jackie cardigan.


Crewality - The quality of certain J Crew pieces is questionable at times. So the topic gets its own word. (SanFranciscoCA)


Crewasted - Totally hammered on Crewlade. The key to avoiding a hangover is to pay w/cash or debit card. Good luck to you.


Crewazy – Pretty much self explanatory but we’ll use it in a sentence: “Me no likey at all...the price is crewazy!!!!!” (Patina Cabochon)
 

Crewcandy - The little irrisitible things in the bins at the register like bobbypins. (lucegirl) Another way to say this is...trash and trinkets at the register. They are difficult to resist, ssp when under the influence of crewlade. Dig, girl, dig. You may find something really good.


Crewel, Crewl or Uncrewsual punishment - Pretty much anytime J Crew flips the script. A good example is when an item you have been stalking online suddenly sells out and you get the dreaded red message! (GingerSnap) Other examples...inconsistency w/the student/educator discount policy. Not combining codes. Wah!


Crewfit - Like outfit --> here is a sentence: "What's your crewfit today?" (Donna)


Crewked - "...as is=not straight..." (SanFranciscoCA) This is how I feel about the website! They still don't have it together.


Crewlade - This may be the most serious of them all. The mixer of vaporous crewlade batches is unknown. Is it the marketing & graphic design departments of J Crew? PR? Is it…is it…us? --*gasp* -- the bloggers and blog visitors who incessantly discuss the merch to the point of memorization? FYI, inhalers rarely have control over this stuff. Do your best not to hit it too hard. It's dangerous! You usually don't come down until you get back home or the credit card bill arrives. See Crewasted.

"I had to do some returns the other day, and just kept whispering my breath, as I stared lustfully at the Chandelier Necklace, "Don't drink the Crewlade! Don't drink the Crewlade!" (Katy O.)

Note: Crewlade causes a temporary high, lapse in judgment and creates a kaleidoscope effect where 95% of the J Crew merchandise looks good. When under the influence it all looks good on you. Yes you need that atomic necklace. Isn’t it pretty? Can’t you see it with the glazed pecan card? Ooooohh yeaaahhh and hey…it’s on sale!

Crew La Vie! - We aarrrr...eeeerrr....soooo...eeehhhh...suuurrieeee. Theeeessss eeez an untrrranzzlate-a-bull express-eee-ohn. Unless SFCA comes back to tell us more. (SanFranciscoCA)


Crewless – When you know more about the item than the SA. (Heidi G)

Crewlette - Rolling the dice or spinning the roulette wheel at House de Jcrew.com. Should you order now or wait a couple days to see if there's a % off promo? Do the chinos fit the same as last year? That top went right to finals sale, should you get it? Will your cashmere get holes in it or pill like a rash? Do you take a 7, 7.5 or 8 in that shoe? Sorry. We will do our best, but can't always answer those questions for you, my friend. You must roll the dice.  "Shopping at J. Crew can be a real game of crewlette. I don't want to commit to an item that I love if it'll fall apart."(nomoneyfun)

Crewlicious - As in "J Crew items are absolutely crewlicious." (SanFranciscoCA)

Crewmorse - A feeling you have after regretting a purchase. (Emily)


Crewniverse - The 'force' that is one of our favorite retailers. The Crewniverse is comprised of crewlicious items, the occasional crewpons and the occasional crewless associate thrown in to drive you crewazy. The atmosphere of The Crewniverse is laden with crewlade, propelling us us...crewasted and all...to go on lengthy crewsades, crewsin for popbacks...hoping we don't feel crewmorse even though sometimes The Crewniverse is just crewel (I.e. final sale). The Crewniverse works in mysterious ways.


Crewpon – You reach into your mailbox. It’s not a flyer. It's not a bill. It's a beautiful little envelope from J Crew containing a discount coupon card. Known to cause haterade (see below) in those that don’t receive these rare, random goodies. The April 2009 25% crewpon was also known as the Mickey card.

Crewsade - When you have to make a serious effort to search for a specific J Crew item, often further galvanized by a crew-less SA or two. (HeidiG). Read here about RatsOnParade's crewsade.

Crewsewear - When you use an upcoming vacation as justification for spending way too much money at J Crew. (HeidiG)

Crewsin - This can be a legitimately planned trip, a visit to make an exchange (yeah, right) or a drive by (you have no business being there).

"I went crewsin through my local jcrew." (Patina Cabochon)

Crewtique - A product review. Let's use it in a sentence. "Did you see the Crewtique of the Corsage Tee on Gigi's blog?" (lucegirl)


Faux Rent - When you love an item, but don’t necessarily want to own it. Or at least figure you won’t wear it enough to warrant a purchase. The alternative is to visit it in b&m while it’s in stock.

JCA1 – What did you do today?
JCA2 – Oh, I stopped by J Crew to see the gallery hobo. It’s still faux rent at Westfield Centre.

F&F - Friends & Family. Retailers have Friends & Family (F&F) promos once or twice/year. Retailers that I'm aware of who have it are the GAP/ON/BR corporation, Sephora (! it was Nov 09 this year), Ann Taylor, Ann Taylor Loft, Talbots & Macy's. I'm sure there are others, but those come to mind as I type this out. J Crew doesn't have F&F. The discount ranges from 20% -30% off your entire purchase, depending on the merchant. If you receive emails from these companies, you may be emailed an invitation. In the case of GAP/ON/BR, the email recipient can forward the email to up to 25 people. Actually, that's for their Give Get promo, which happens a couple times/year. But yes, you have to be invited some way. They, specifically, will not apply their F&F in-store. You have to have an email printout/invite.

F21 – The Forever 21 store. I used to think this meant the clothing keeps you looking or feeling like you are forever 21. Now I’m hoping it means they are going to keep their price points forever around $21! They keep going up. Trivia: Have you noticed they put John 3:16 on the bottom of their bags? In n Out Burger has the same on the bottom of their cups.

FS - Final Sale. Ask all the sizing questions you want. Hunt the blogs for IRL pics. Click to gamble. The idea is the sale is final and you cannot return it. J Crew is one of the few retailers still torturing customers with this practice.

Fugly & Frugly - "f****in' ugly," and I'm going to assume frugly is freaking ugly. I just saw frugly for the first time on JCA. I imagine it's been around. Sometimes I arrive late to the party. In any case, thanks to Corry for mentioning it on JCA.


Glaydie – I am no longer a 'girl' and 'woman' sounds so serious. Girl + lady = gladyie. Add an ‘s’ to make plural. Of course if we are friends, it's ok to address me as girl. I.e. Hey girl...how's it goin'? I've mostly used glaydies when addressing the group because girls is odd to me for some reason. Hmm....maybe it should be glady and gladies for plural. Yeah.

Haterade - Haterade is a vapor of jealousy that envelops a person when she sees someone with an item/money/attribute she feels is lacking in her life. Not admitting these feelings causes the vapor to make her spew the rude and foul comments choking her mind. The affliction is very transparent online. Those afflicted by haterade believe there is achievement in personal attacks. Those on the verge of overdosing erroneously believe the lower and more personal the attack, the better. For an eloquent definition that came long before I wrote this one, click here.

Note: Haterade causes anger, elevated body temperature, irritation, nervous stomach, nausea and near-instant bad karma. No directions for use. Not recommended.

JCA - J Crew Aficionada, visit The Mothership.


JCray - The crazy things you'll do to get your J Crew. Thank you, Audreybella

J’Crewlet (Jhay-croo-lay) – Another name for the J Crew Factory Store. Sounds suuuper fancy, like Tarjay. We all know the merch is hit or miss. Boo.

J'screwed - When you're sent the wrong item or size, or the correct item was left out of your order altogether, and when you try to place a new order for the coveted item and it's out of stock, you are... J'sCrewed. (CheesyGoodness)


Manbag, Murse - A handbag or purse carried by a man. Like like this one. Not like your purse that you ask your man to carry. I don't claim to have 'invented' this word. Just posting it for reference.


Patinalicious - Inspired by Ms. Patina Cabachon (got it goin' on).
A descriptor for what you are or what an outfit is when you don't stop at a one-of-a-kind cardigan such as J Crew's constellations cardi. You add other sparkling lovelies and it all works together "in a Patinalicious way." Patinalicious always equals sparkly, yet tasteful.

Popback – Items on J Crew’s website that randomly show up in the sale section. You thought you missed out, but LOOK! There’s your size. Right now. Good luck. (*snickers*) Now...let’s use it in a sentence. At least that's a sure thing.

JCA1 - *gasps* How did you find a golden roses jacket?
JCA2 - Girl, it was a popback. I am so lucky! Hope it ships!


PTP - Some love it, some hate it. The pigeon toe pose (PTP) is here to stay. I have tested a PTP vs. non-PTP and it adds at least a 1/2" - maybe more. Your body has to counterbalance. You'll be a geek, but a taller one! It also moves the body into more angles, which is great for models. And finally, I am convinced that it makes the purdy, prudy models more likable and less potentially alienating. The J Crew photoshoot team may have not come up w/the pose, but they have models celebrate it in each and every catalog. So thank you? J Crew.


Ride along – Wikipedia: "an arrangement for a civilian to spend a shift in the passenger seat of a police car, observing the work day of a police officer."

Same idea, revised for retail --> An arrangement for a questionable item to spend time in the shipping box of an online order, in order to qualify for an online promo.

The purchaser is most certain that she is likely return this item, only to find – upon receipt – that it is one of the best in the box. Surprise!

Shblingy - "Bling" is starting to sound antiquated. Especially when I am hearing it rolling rather easily off the tongue of those in their golden years. Therefore, I'm going to try to work in a new one. Shiny + blingy = shblingy.

Side-Saddlebags - Your J Crew cami has a side zipper. Tuck the top in your pants or skirt and you will get side-saddlebags. (Cheryl on JCA)

Tenk - tank+tent (ABiggerCloset) - a great descriptor for tops like the Lydia, Elizabeth and soft tee ruffle tank that make you think J Crew is working on a maternity line (tastymoog, dinagideon)

The Flip - This is what I call the moment the sale section updates on jcrew.com (hark-someretailangelssiiing). There is a literal flip when the stock increases after an update. That happens at different times of the wee hours. There is a literal flip of my heart when I happen to be up late, get on the site & see that the numbers have changed. How does one chase the flip? You can stay up late and try to catch it. This is whn the popbacks are scored. Perhaps you are up before the rest of your household wakes up and taking some quiet time for yourself. And some simply have insomnia. The Flip has a special place in my heart/eyes for jcrew.com, but it can be applied to other retailers that are online. I.e. When is the flip for Anthro? Well, actually...we know it usually happens in the wee hours of Tues. That is...when you wake up on Tues mornings, they've updated their sale section. Speaking of...Anthro sometimes has a category called Fresh Cuts where they list the most recent items to be marked down. Thank you for that, Anthro. And thanks to two of my favorite Anthroholics that navigate the retailer with & for us -- Roxy at Effortless Anthropologie & Kim at Anthroholic.

Thriftivity, thriftivities - From Lisa Marie at Southern Comfort GA. I think it's a form of 'activity' and used to describe thrifting. It also seems to be used to describe the activity of making something you've thrifted work into a great outfit.

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For abbreviations, particularly those seen in the sale/swap exchange, check out this post on The Mothership.